Reserve the Right to Change your mind.
I don’t have to do something just because it’s what I have always done.
I don’t have to go somewhere just because it’s where I’ve always gone.
I don’t have to be someone just because it’s who I’ve always been.
I reserve the right to change my mind.
It seems so simple, right? But how many times have I felt stuck in a pattern just because it was….my pattern?
It’s one of the many things my friend Kate taught me when she was alive. She said it was a motto that applied to big life decisions all the way down to little decisions.
You don’t have to dress a certain way just because it’s how you’ve dressed before. You don’t owe anybody consistency. From one week to the next or even from one day to the next.
I feel like I’m coming to a crossroad in my life. I can either go one direction and continue on as I always have, or I can take a leap of faith and embark on a new journey.
You know me….guess which one I’ll chose….
That doesn’t mean I’m not sad to let go of my security blanket of familiarity. It feels like a text message breakup. But as in every breakup, these Relient K lyrics apply, “The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.”
There is something to say for commitments, like marriage and motherhoods and your word as your bind. I’m talking about the other things. The smaller and malleable things that we set in concrete in our minds as a result of our own fears and insecurities and downright lack of faith.
Friends, I have some choices to make (though, it feels like I’ve already chosen) and some tough conversations to have.
This life is short, and I want to spend my time in a way that gives life to those around me and myself. Pray for me, because I have to be a grownup and it’s hard.
(Also, I know I’m being super vague…just hang in there I’ll tell you soon. But for all you worry warts, it’s really fine. It’s just a “career” move. )
Love to you all. Thank you all for the permission you give me to change, ebb, flow, and give what I can, even when it so often feels like it’s not enough.
Cheers to moving forward, despite the dust on our feet.
Love and love and love over again,