I ran this morning. It was 2 miles. It was harder than the 10 miles you ran. I know I sound crazy, but it’s true. See, sometime between yesterday and about two months ago I had a baby. The 9 months before that, I was pregnant. The two months before that, I was recovering from a loss. The three months before that, I was pregnant. I haven’t been an athlete in what feels like ages. I’ve exercised, I’ve been health concious, but I haven’t really had to dig deep. I haven’t been able to push myself, meaning, I haven’t had to face my demons.
The self doubt, the self doubt, and also the doubting of myself.
I can’t do this. I should just walk the rest. I can’t breathe. My leg hurts. I should just turn back now. I’m going so slow, I may as well just walk anyway. 2 miles don’t even count to a real runner. Why bother?
I did it. I ran without stopping. I have a lot more running to do, but it started today. I’m not back to my “pre-baby weight”, that’s not my goal. My goal is to pursue “post-baby strength”. I want to be strong, confident, and exhilerated in a new way; as a mommy of three, with one in heaven. I don’t want to be who I was before my babies. It would be a tragic loss of character and faith development. I don’t want my body to go back in time to be the way I was either. My hips, skin, and heart are forever changed. Now I am even more capable of reaching new heights. This body has done amazing things and can continue to. This is the body I’m running with. I know I’m bragging. It’s because I’m so proud.
I took Lila with me on my run today. She likes to wear princess dresses in her stroller. Hot pink shoes, stunna shades, and a lollipop (organic vitamin lollipops, but don’t tell her that). She keeps me moving. I want her to see her mommy try really hard and push herself. I want her to crave the wind in her face the way I do. I want her to observe God’s sweet and tender creation in a way you can’t when you’re just driving by. Ask my runner friends, my head is always turning back and forth gazing and smileling about how beautiful it is outstide. Now, hers is too. We’ve been walking while I wear Daniel. When we come home, she tells me about the butterflies and the flowers she saw. It makes me feel like I’m giving her a gift, but really, He is.
When I feel intimidated by something, but do it anyway, It builds me up a little bit more. Like a toddler discovering her autonomy. I get that same starry grin and puff up my chest. That goes for just about anything. From learning how to sew a quilt, to running a marathon, to baking a chicken pot pie.
This weekend, do something that you’re a little intimidated by. You aren’t who you were before babies, or before college, or before packing up and moving across the country. You aren’t who you were before you took on this new job or new schedule, but you shouldn’t be. You should be changed by each season of life you’ve weathered. Embrace it. Walk a mile. Complete a project. Write that letter. Pick up that guitar. Bake this chicken pot pie. You’ll be great and it will be just the boost you need. It will show in your starry smile even through the scars you’ve bared.
- 2 sticks very cold unsalted butter cubed
- 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
- 1 Tablespoon sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup very cold buttermilk (or put 1 Tbs lemon juice or vinegar in a measuring up and fill with milk. Let it sit, and boom, buttermilk.)
- The meat from a roasted chicken chopped up (or two cooked chicken breasts chopped)
- 2 sprigs of thyme
- 1 sprig of oregano
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 2 tbs olive oil
- 2 pieces of bacon chopped
- 1 chopped onion
- 1/2 cup chopped zucchini
- 1/2 cup chopped potato
- 1/2 cup chopped greens (kale, swiss chard, or even brussels sprouts)
- 1/2 cup chopped carrots
- 2 cloves minced garlic
- 2 Tbs flour
- 2 cups chicken stock
- 3/4 cup milk
- 1. Sift your dry ingredients into a mixing bowl
- 2. Using your hands, massage that butter into the dry mix until it's dusty and crumbly
- 3. Add your buttermilk and mix it with your hands. The crust will be shaggy but that's great.
- 4. Form two equal discs and place in a ziplock back and put it in the fridge to chill for 30 min.
- 5. Roll out each disc into a circle
- 6. Place one in the bottom of a greased 9 inch pie pan. (Set the other aside to top your pie.
- 1.Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
- 2. Heat a large sauté pan over medium heat and cook up the bacon. Remove it to drain and leave the fat in the pan.
- 3. Put the chicken and herbs in that pan and cook until warmed through.
- 4. Set the chicken aside with the bacon. In the same pan add the onions and cook until translucent. Then the potatoes until slightly tender, then the rest of the vegetables and garlic.
- 5. Sprinkle the flour in and stir until it dissolves into the juices.
- 6. Add the chicken stock and simmer until thickened. Then put the meat back in and and combine.
- 7. Pour the pie filling into the empty pie shell and top with the second shell. Crimp the edges and use the extra dough to add a star, heart, or whatever you'd like.
- 8. Cut a few vents into the crust and brush the top with an egg wash (one egg, 1 Tbs of water)
- 9. Bake until golden brown, about 30 min.
- 10. Eat the whole dang thing.
- You can totally use a pre made pie crust, that's allowed.
- The vegetables are all up in the air. Use whichever you like. Use this recipe as a template.
- You can add peas or celery. You can use sweet potatoes instead of regular... You're the artist!